Thursday, August 29, 2013


So, yeah.  So much for a Blog Project.  I wonder how many abandoned blogs there are out there?

An extraordinarily difficult time in my life is coming to a close.  This is great news, except that it is possible that another extraordinarily difficult time is following right on its heels.

My new job was a disaster almost from the first day.  I won't go into details here, but I was ridiculed and insulted on a fairly regular basis.  When I asked for advice on how I could improve, or concrete examples of criticism that was hurled at me, I was turned down.  My boss told me I was "the worst employee I've ever had" and then expected me to want to form a professional relationship with him. thanks.  My inner Creep Alarm bell went off constantly with this guy, and I took any interaction with him down to a bare minimum.  I got my work done, and that was about it.

I was finally told I was being fired....but in four months.  I appreciate the notice period and the opportunity to work while I found something new, but it felt like a long, slow death.  Four months of coming to work every single day and knowing you are not wanted is HARD.  All of my projects were put on hold, or delegated to someone else.  Basically I just sat on my computer all day messing around online.  It was not a fun existence.

I came home crying more times than I care to admit.  The number gets higher if you count the number of times I started crying  randomly at home.  I was miserable, and I knew I was making my spouse miserable by being so miserable.  Talk about a Misery Spiral.  The looming termination and the thought of having to go through yet another "you're horrible at your job but I won't tell you why" meeting was unbearable.  I had had enough, and I needed healing desperately.  Though I hadn't lined up another job, I resigned.  I provided 8 days notice.  My boss did not even acknowledge my resignation, and during my notice period I was completely and totally ignored. 

I said goodbye to people I'd come to know over the past year.  The kindness of people I barely knew was so incredibly welcome but also so incredibly frustrating - why couldn't I work for them?  Why did I have to get stuck with the guy with Issues who decided on my first day that I was a target?  It was such a welcome relief to be around supportive people and to start breaking myself of the "you are such a failure" mentality that had been driven into my skull.

Tomorrow is my last day, and I am surprisingly zen about the whole thing.  At this point I welcome change, and the prospect of being unemployed does not scare me (yet).  I have been getting interviews, and have been exploring volunteer and temporary options.  We will not go hungry or bankrupt if I go a while without a job.  Honestly, it is nice to feel free to explore other options and really think about where I want to go from here.  However, I hope and pray that the difficulty of the past year does not become a new difficulty of extended unemployment.

It was important for me to leave my job with my dignity intact and to leave gracefully and professionally.  I really did not want to give any notice period - but I knew it was the right thing to do.  I thought daily about giving my boss the old one-fingered salute and a big ol' F U but I know I would hate myself for it, and fear that behavior like that would come back to haunt me.  Despite the damage that has been done to me and despite the strong words I have for my former employer, at least I can say I left on my own terms and in my own way.  Even in my young career I know that it really is a small world out there, and that your reputation will follow you wherever you go.

As I enter my final day at this terrible job, I try and contemplate the professional growth I have experienced this year.  While I wouldn't say I've gained a lot of concrete skills, I know my maturity has increased and my confidence in dealing with difficult situations has improved significantly.  I jokingly referred to this notice period and coming days as 'detox' and I really don't think that word is too far off.  Right now the focus is on healing myself and living for me.  I trust that things will work themselves out in due time, and take pride in knowing I took a great Leap of Faith into the next phase of my life.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

JCrew Jacquard Dot Top Review

I recently picked up the JCrew Jacquard Dot Top for 25% off.  It comes in ivory, "fresh guava", and "violet dust".  Normal retail price is $110.  I think it's a really versatile top that can be worn on the weekend, at work, or anywhere in between.  I purchased a size 6 which is my usual size in JCrew tops.  I am 5'8'' and the length is good for me; for a shorter person it may be long.

Pros: Wardrobe workhorse for sure.  A great basic top that goes with everything, with enough design elements to still be special.  The ivory color can be worn year-round. Very comfortable.

Cons:  A bit sheer.  In the pictures I'm wearing it with a nude bra and it looks okay, but you may want to wear a cami underneath.  100% synthetic (mostly viscose).  I'm disappointed that this isn't even a silk blend.  For $110, I want a little more than synthetic fibers.

Verdict:  Buy on sale. 



Job interview

Thursday, March 14, 2013

JCrew Catalog Inspiration - Green and coral

I saw this picture in the February 2013 JCrew catalog:

It features the model wearing the butterfly silk shirt in forest green with a coral skirt and neutral accessories.  The 'style tip' notes that unique color combinations can work if you have neutral accessories. I didn't like the specific pieces, but I kept coming back to the color combo.  I used it to make the following outfits:

JCrew Perfect V-neck in trellis vine, No. 2 skirt in poppy grove

 I am on the fence with this one.  I think it could be great with some kind of accessory but I'm not sure what.

JCrew Tippi sweater in heather turquoise, No. 2 in poppy grove
I was surprised that I liked this so much.  It just seems like something that would be perfect in April or May as everything is starting to bloom.  The nude shoes definitely allow for a little more experimentation with different color combinations.

Shoes - Ivanka Trump Cleo Pump

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sinequanone Polka Dot Dress: Six Ways

I got this great dress at Loehmann's lately, and I have been dying to pull it out.  It's a bit too light and airy for winter (though you could wear it with tights and boots on a warmish winter day).  It screams spring and summer to me, and I kept thinking of ways to wear it.  I highlighted a few of them here, all with the same pair of shoes, but I could think of so many more.  The shoes are nude peep toe pumps from Ivanka Trump.

Sinequanone dress, via Loehmann's

JCrew Tippi Sweater in navy (sadly the flash makes the sweater a little transparent, but in real life it looks fine)

JCrew Tippi Cardigan in heather silver

JCrew Jackie cardigan in black

Saachi scarf

JCrew leather belt in fuchsia

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Mint Chocolate

Hi Mom!  What are you doing?
This is the only pair of pants I own right now that actually fits.  Sigh. 

NYC winters are FAR too long.  As a native Texan, winter should last a few days at most.  During the first week of March it should be downright warm, and winter coats and sweaters have long since been put away for another year.  Sadly, NYC is not Texas.  It is snowing today, and the wind chill is 18 degrees.  I hate my coat.  I hate my scarves.  I hate my gloves.  I hate freezing my butt of when I walk the dog at 6am.  I. am. over. it.  Luckily this sweater reminds me that yes, it is March, and that all of this shivering and suffering will be rewarded in a few weeks.  Blossoms!  Leaves! Sunshine!  Birds chirping!  The warm sun on your back!  Aaahhhhh...

Sweater - JCrew Tippi in heather turquoise
Scarf - Saachi
Pants - Ann Taylor
Bag- Fossil
Shoes - Born
Dog - Pomeranian

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Fashion Math

Clearly I have a formula for getting dressed in the morning.  Blouse + skirt + cardigan.  Repeat forever.  I wonder how many combinations of outfits I could make out of my whole closet?  Maybe if I paid attention in college math I would know that.  I'm sure it has something to do with factorials or something.  If the examples used in the class had been about clothes and not balls and urns I probably would have learned a lot more.

Cardigan - JCrew Tippi
Skirt - JCrew Number 2
Shirt - Banana Republic
Belt - JCrew

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Blue on Blue

Smiling through my hunger pangs
Matchy matchy belt time!  I can't believe I took so long to get on the belt bandwagon.  Look how the smallest thing jazzes up an outfit in no time.  It also helps the skirt fit a little better, which I accidentally bought in a size too big.  Clearly I need better glasses.

Cardigan - Lauren Ralph Lauren
Skirt - Banana Republic
Shirt - Banana Republic
Belt - JCrew